A Thousand miles away is where I am happiest, and to get to there, I have to fly. All year long there is one thing in the back of my head, one thing constantly on my mind and one thing that I am in love with. Despite the fact that I hate to fly, I still have this passion and travel anyways. Flying for me is my biggest fear, not to mention the dainty snacks and hott drinks do not help any. I remember specifically one evening flying on a Delta flight and having the nicest flight attendant. He was handsome too I might add. He spoke fluent spanish but he was nice enough to try and speak english to me. I could pick out a few words here and there so I knew what he was trying to get across. He made my feel very at home and kept my mind off of my biggest fear. He told me to look out the window and take in the bueaty of being so high up. As I looked out the window the clouds looked like cotton candy, the kind that made my stomach growl because the dainty penuts and hott coke did not do the trick. It was a vibrant blue and white, God's creation to the max. I was so entrigued by what was out the window I felt like my fear of flying had gone away for a few minutes. Before I knew it we were preparing for landing. I felt butterflies go up my sping and shivers go down my legs because I knew in a few minutes I would be where I was happiest and see what I have been wanting to see. The thing thats always on my mind and the thing that I dream about.
As far as structure and image placement, I like the placement of the photo of the sky out of the plane window. Because an airplane flight is an experience that most people have in their memories, it immediately places the reader in the setting of the piece. Everyone has their own feelings toward flying, whether they view it anxiously or as an adventure. The fact that the reader is able to place themselves in a similar situation from their own memories and share the experience with the writer enables the reader to better relate to the piece. I definitely think that the image fits the theme of the post, however I would have liked to see a second image further down in the piece to allude to whatever the writer is looking forward to.
ReplyDeleteThe structure of the piece, particularly the ending, is a little shadowy. In the end, the reader is left wondering where the writer ended up and what exactly it is that he/she is dreaming about. Additionally, there are quite a few typos and spelling errors sprinkled throughout the piece. This made me feel that the piece might have been rushed in writing, or maybe purposely done to convey his anxiety about flying along with his anticipatory excitement?
My first time flying was a terrifying experience. I was eighteen-years-old (definitely got a late start) and had to sit and tell myself over and over aloud that I was going to be okay. I'm sure who was ever near me, or witnessing from a distance, thought I was suffering from early signs of schizophrenia. Your opening paragraph is effective at allowing the reader to place themselves in your shoes, while being able to reflect on their own experience of flying and all the sheer panic that comes with it.
ReplyDeleteFunny how someone like the flight attendant you had can comfort you so quickly. In relation to your experience flying, my attendant (a girl, lol) was quite the looked and I remember feeling like all my fears had been left on the runway and my focus had turned to looking as suave as I possibly could in front of her.
I liked this piece a lot, I would just try to go over and polish the finer details. Example being where you said "hott coke" (spelling on "hott"? Assuming you meant "hot"). Unless the attendant nuked your soda in the microwave, or it was left in a car on a summer day, Coke can never really be hot. I'd go with something along the lines of "my room temperature Coke". That's a fairly lame revised version of what you originally put, but you get the point.
Cool blog, though. The photo you chose for your first post is simple enough and I think it should be intended that way - it gave the reader the feeling of what it's like to sit in a commercial airline seat again. Your blog, overall, is pleasing to the eye (great background photo), not cluttered, and sleek in its presentation.